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Remember the old song, “Love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage”?  It goes on to say, “You can’t have one without the other.”  Some might disagree.  Do you long for a deeper connection in your marriage?  Relationship conflicts are more common these days in our busy digital world.  We rarely slow down and connect with the ones most precious to us.

When approached to write a review on the book, “The Love Lock” by Pastors Rollins and Trammell, I was excited and honored.  This book could be a powerful resource to offer couples who would like a deeper intimacy and connection with their spouse.

Do you long for a deeper connection in your marriage?

Many of you know, I recently served as a Minister to Children in a local church.  You can’t minister to children without serving the whole family.  A healthy marriage relationship with your spouse is the most important gift you can give your child.  A child’s greatest need is stability.  They need the home to be a place where they feel nurtured, safe, and secure.  The home should be a sanctuary of peace where we all can rest from the craziness of the world.

While in ministry, my husband and I loved on families and kids at ball games, in band concerts, plays, and various other fun family events. Unfortunately, in addition to that, families needed support when they went through hard times, as well.  At the time we had no Christian counselors in our area.  Nevertheless, we did the best we knew to do. Through the power of the mightiest counselor of all, the Holy Spirit, we took them to the feet of Jesus.

We leaned heavily on the Lord for wisdom and discernment.

God is good and He honored our efforts.  To be honest though, at times we felt inept and ill equipped.  I wish we had this book back then because the authors offer tools for couples as they work through issues in their marriage.

Through “Love Lock – Creating Lasting Connections With The One You Love”, Pastors Rich Rollins and Marty Trammell share wisdom from over sixty years in ministry and pre-marital counseling.  You can find the book HERE.

This book is well thought out and gives practical tools to equip couples to experience a deeper connection in their relationships.  In each section of the book, the authors share the most common reasons couples report for seeking counseling.

The most common reasons given for seeking counseling include the need to feel…

• understood.
• valued.
• a part of the one I love.
• respected and cherished.
• able to trust the one I love.
• more resolution and less conflict.

At the conclusion of each chapter, the authors provide exercises to work through these needs as a couple.

While I can’t go into every tool the book supplies, I can point out a chapter that hit home with me.

Under the topic of “I need more resolution, less conflict”, there is a chapter titled “The War of Two Worlds”.  In this chapter, they contrast the worldview that says life is about consuming verses the Scriptures that teach that life is about adoring God and giving to others.

The Drs. write, “When we are “too much in this world,” we miss out on the fulfillment of the joy of our created purpose.  This world system presents a standard of living that is beyond the average person’s means to achieve.”  This creates huge complications in marriages.

If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. 1 John 2:15-17 (NIV)

1 John 2:15-17 describes four wounds that pierce our relationships.

First, we do not “love God”.

Second, we “crave” more.

Third, we “lust” after what we see around us.

And fourth, we “boast” about what we have.

This wisdom spoke to me.

Social media predisposes us to the idea that young moms need to have a successful full time career, raise well mannered, well educated and well dressed children, volunteer at various worthy causes, eat locally grown organic or home grown food, make their own baby food, work out to maintain a sculpted beach-ready body, have a fairy tale marriage and wear name brand everything, while keeping a beautiful, Pinterest worthy home.  Not only that but also take professional photos to document it all on social media to give the illusion they are nailing it…wheeww…that exhausted me just writing it all!

It’s no wonder anxiety issues and panic attacks are so prevalent today.

My word, I would have them too if I tried to do all of that!  We worship the idol of busy-ness today.  We don’t let our brains just be still, ever.  How do we find time to be quiet before God…to spend intentional time with our husbands or with our kids?  In the end, they are all that matter.

Why are we so hard on ourselves?  We need to simplify our lives and give ourselves a space to rest.  As the authors of this book say, “Wise couples encourage an atmosphere of rest.”

This year I’ve committed to “being wise” and letting go of some of this world to protect my home, my health, and my marriage.  Who’s with me?

Give yourself permission to join me in a season of decluttering, peace, and rest.

(Photo by Emily Boone)

On their website redeemingrelationships.com, the authors provide a free downloadable Bible study on “The Love Lock” to accompany you on this journey.

Drs. Rollins and Trammell co-authored two other relationship books titled “Redeeming Relationships” available HERE and “Spiritual Fitness”, which you can find HERE.

Hold on to your marriage.

Fight on your knees.  The enemy is betting you will quit.  Don’t let him win.  God is on your side.  Pray hard.  In the long run, you will be thankful.

My husband and I have been married since 1986.  I am grateful we didn’t run when things got hard in our marriage (and they did).  While it hasn’t been easy, with the help of Holy Spirit, we are more in love now than ever.  You can read a little about us in the post titled, “The Best Marriage Advice I Ever Received”.  You can find it HERE

My honey and I had to learn the hard way how to work through our differences (and there were many) without walking away.  The “Love Lock” offers you the advantage of drawing on the wisdom of these experienced marriage counselors with practical advice.

Do you long for a deeper connection in your marriage?

Pick up a copy of the Love Lock.  You and your spouse are worth it.

I’m praying for you,

P.S.

Emily Boone, a gifted photographer shared the beautiful photograph on this blog cover with me.  My daughter and son-in-law had the honor of modeling for Emily for this photo shoot.  I had to share it.  Check out Emily’s work at emilyboone.com!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links, which means I may earn some money at no additional cost to you, if you click on the links I provide. You can read my full dislcaimer policy here.

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