Those who know me know that my Granny was a huge part of my life. Living close to her was the greatest gift ever and I stayed with her a great deal. She spoiled me rotten and I loved her more than anything. My Granny loved the Lord and always knew just what to say. She gave me the best marriage advice I ever received.
Now, I want you to know I married the best man in the world.
You think I’m exaggerating but it’s true. He is such a good man. We have walked through thick and thin together since we met in 1984. He was and is the most gorgeous, sweet, kind man I know and we love each other dearly.
He is the best thing that has happened to me apart from coming to know Jesus as my Savior and he gave me two beautiful babies.
That does not mean we didn’t share some hard times through the years. Flawed humans that we are and extreme opposites, my husband and I butted heads quite often and sometimes loudly! We always made up and came through it stronger every time.
However, I’m tellin’ you, if Jesus was not in the middle of it we wouldn’t have made it. Jesus saved my marriage more times than I can count. Marriage isn’t for sissies.
It’s hard to lay down your pride and remember you love that person and let the stupid stuff go. In the end, whatever you fought about wasn’t important.
My sweet husband and I were raised in different religious traditions, very different. It was all we knew and we both thought we could love each other enough so it wouldn’t matter…. but it did. When we started talking about raising kids, it mattered…A LOT!
We would let it go for a while, then fight about it again and again and again. This went on for years. Isn’t that how satan works? He can even get you to fight about God, for goodness sake. The enemy does not want marriages to survive.
His plan is to hurt God by destroying marriages and by doing so, he thinks he can destroy the church, the Bride of Christ. Spoiler alert, he doesn’t succeed. God wins!
After our oldest daughter was born, we debated about how to raise her. We both loved God and wanted to raise our children to know Jesus. We both had good intentions but neither would compromise because we were strong in our beliefs and prideful.
It got heated sometimes.
So, like I always did when I was upset, I called my Granny. I can still hear her voice like it was yesterday. She listened patiently while I whined about my husband. She did not interrupt me or try to give me worldly advice or platitudes.
I wish you could have known her. She was an extremely simple, funny, and wise woman. She loved my husband very much. In fact, he is quite fond of reminding me that she would refer to him as my “God-send” and I’m sure she was right.
You may remember me telling you in the last post (you can read it HERE), my spiritual gifts are speaking gifts. I had way more words to hurl at my quiet, serving-gifted husband when we would argue and he never once tried to kill me… well, I’m sure he wanted to but the point is, he didn’t. Lol
My Granny gave me the best marriage advice I ever received.
She said in her soft Mississippi southern twang,
“Honey, stop talking to your man about God and start talking to God about your man!”
That stopped me in my tracks. I had not seriously and earnestly prayed about it.
I was pregnant, home alone, and bored. My husband was a firefighter and worked a lot of nights. I went to the store for something to read.
There was a book called “Survival for Busy Women” by Emilie Barnes that changed my prayer life. Thus began my journaling obsession. (You can read a little about journaling HERE)
I sat down with my new book and a new journal. I wanted to be intentional about praying for my marriage but wasn’t sure how to begin. (By the way, I stopped and started a million journals before I developed the discipline to journal daily.)
In the book, Emilie Barnes gives practical ways to pray through everything from your goals, health, calendar, schedule, home organization, and even your finances. It’s an old book but I still refer back to it.
I prayed over our spiritual, physical, and material goals. I prayed over our marriage, over our baby, over our future children, how we would raise them to worship, and whatever the Holy Spirit brought to mind. Prayer became a big part of my life.
When we would argue about anything, I learned to go to a quiet place and pray instead of continuing to argue about whatever it was. It is a struggle to learn to do battle on your knees when all you want to do is fight it out.
2 Corinthians 10:4 NIV
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.
My Granny was right. There was no winner in the fight my husband and I fought, and never would be. God eventually brought just the right people into our lives. They invited us to a church we both loved. We joined and raised our children in that little church together. God showed us a way to worship Him that brought Him glory and honor.
It was not my doing nor my husband’s and we both realize it. Jesus intervened and won. I know without a doubt that if Jesus had not come between us, we would have destroyed something wonderful, our marriage.
If you struggle in your marriage and you can’t see how God can heal it, give it to Him. He put you together and He will keep you together. Start talking to God about your man.
Fight for your marriage on your knees, get serious about prayer. Fight for it! It is worth it. I promise, one day you’ll be glad you did.
Jesus gave His life so that we can go to God whenever we want. He paid the price for our sins so that we can go into the Presence of God. Don’t waste that privilege and honor or my Granny’s advice. 😉
Have a blessed Easter season.
He is risen, He is risen indeed!!
P.S. I still have that journal from 1989 and God answered every one of those prayers. I thank Him every day for my marriage and for my man. God is such a good and faithful God, talk to Him. He loves you.
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